Looking Out the Window: Growing Up As a Tomboy

            I vividly remember the miserable, excruciatingly long days when my mother made me play "tea party" with my older sister because she was the only "girly girl" and often felt left out. Forcing me into playing "tea party" with my sister only made me more uncomfortable in my own skin, and I remember the long days staring out the window wanting so badly to be outside with a baseball bat in my hand. I was the youngest of four children, and my parents always thought that I was supposed to grow up to be just like my siblings, more specifically, my two older sisters. Growing up, it was not considered "proper" if I wanted to race toy cars instead of mothering a doll. My middle sister and I were always super close with our brother, which made us more interested in outdoorsy kind of games. After maturing and forming my own opinions, however; I look back and now realize that I was being conditioned into thinking I could not play baseball instead of dress up.

            Gender variant children is something present in society today, but is also something we do not always notice. Like what my parents did to me at a young age, we are brainwashing our children into believing society's definition of "normal." Stores are aiding to this conformity by separating clothes and toys to gender-specific floors, which forces children to go searching for what belongs to them. Fifteen years later, I can still hear my mom's voice saying "Megan, those are for boys" when I pulled her shirt with all my might in an effort to get her to take me to the toy cars. After she told me that they were for boys, she would always follow that up by saying "let's go look at some new dolls." I grew up very blessed and was never one to throw fits when I did not get what I wanted, but the heartbreak was inevitable when I couldn't help but scan my eyes over the colorful cars.

            After my childhood was spent trying so hard to get my parents to let me be the tomboy I wanted to be, I vowed to myself that when I got older I would let my children be exactly who they wanted to be. In “X: A Fabulous Child’s Story,” a child is brought up as a human, and not as a boy or girl. In this article, the nonconformity of baby “X” was supposed to be something beneficial, but it in turn resulted in a lot of confusion and distress for the child. When X was experiencing school for the first time, "X cried a lot at night, partly because it felt afraid” (Gould 7). This proves that growing up as a baby without a declared gender is generally frowned upon today. This article was very eye opening for me, considering I grew up always wanting my parents to let me be more like a human, instead of just a girl. When I have my own children in the future, I do not plan on taking the extreme approach that X's parents took by not declaring my child's gender, but I still believe that letting your child grow up freely is the best route to take when parenting.

            Being able to play with toys you choose and wear clothes you want is something that most children are not given the privilege of doing today. I see little boys and girls all the time with blank, unexcited faces while their parents pay for the toy they did not want. The article “Toys Start the Gender Equality Rift,” in my opinion, argued that children seem to be getting brainwashed by Hamley’s organization of their store. Dr. Nelson is very significant in this article, and her opinion became prominent when she created her own campaign for gender nonconformity. “Until the toys themselves and the marketing are tackled, there will always be pressure on girls and boys," (Bennhold 2) is Dr. Nelson's opinion towards Hamley’s organization of their store. Part of the problem, as quoted in the article, is that “adults have to be better role models,” (Bennhold 3) in order for children get the right message from society. I believe that Dr. Nelson is making an incredible point when she speaks about her campaign. In my opinion, boys and girls both should know that men and women can be anything, from nursery teachers to cops, without discrimination.

            Allison, a girl very similar to me growing up, was not accepted by her peers because she was more interested in boys' things. Social factors construct what views adults and other children believe today, but nothing seems to be leaning towards accepting gender variant children. Allison was biologically a girl, but felt more comfortable in what was supposed to be “boys” clothing (Temple 1). Since Allie wore boys' clothes, she was often referred to as a boy. I can greatly see myself in Allie, because I was always given disturbing looks when I showed up to school in a t-shirt instead of a dress. Allie’s teacher is quoted saying that “I would have to address gender directly in order to make the classroom environment more comfortable for Allie” (qtd. in Temple 1). Clearly, this teacher has seen what society can do to a child after such a short time, and in my opinion; children like Allie should be worried about what color crayon they want to write with that day, not what the children are whispering in the corner of the room.

            From my own experiences, I can conclude that gender stereotypes still exist. I remember my first day wearing makeup in middle school; I was amazed with the shocked looks on everyone's faces since they always knew me as the "boy trapped in a girl's body." In addition, throughout high school, I had a classmate that I grew up knowing as a girl, but was going through the process of a sex transformation. She seemed to be accepted when she showed up to school with all of her hair cut off, and in baggy clothes. On the other hand, since I became more of a girly girl as I grew up, I was able to hear what was actually being said behind her back since I was "normal." Although “he” may not have known it sometimes, he was constantly being harassed by his classmates. I always accepted my classmate for who he was, but the cruel treatment of others ranged from name calling, to being pushed into lockers. Personally, I think that gender nonconformity, even for a now 18 year old girl, still has a long way to come.