Adoption: Causing More Harm Than Good?

 

When a child is adopted they get to have a family who will love them as their own. Sometimes this can be a problem for the child, because they may feel like they weren’t good enough for their birth parents. They may feel like they were a burden which is why they were put up for adoption. In most cases this isn’t the case but it sometimes goes through the head of a child who has been adopted.

Being adopted at three months old has had a big impact on my life. I have unanswered questions most of which I’ll never get the answers of. I know that my birthmother was a teenager when she had me, that is all I know about her.

Many parents of adopted children see adoption as a very good thing; they get to give a child a brand new life, that they may not have had the chance of having if they weren’t adopted. Also for some parents it gives them the child they may not be able to have for whatever reason.

Parents may feel like adopting young will be a good thing that way they don’t get too attached to anything or anyone. However big changes at a young age can be scary. I obviously don’t remember how I felt around the time of my adoption but I do know at first I was afraid of my Dad.

When an adopted child is growing up they may go through things that other kids don’t go through. Other kids may wonder why they don’t look like their parents it is because they were adopted, some kids can handle it while it upsets others. If their parents do not tell their child then they’ll start asking themselves why they don’t look similar to their mother and father. If the parents do tell them that they’re an adopted child then other things can happen. The parents may not want to tell their children because they do not want to make the child feel awkward, which can sometimes happen. They could feel like they do not truly belong, when they actually do.

When a child is told that they’re an adopted child it creates questions, some that cannot be answered. Where did I come from, what does my birthmother look like, and what does my birthfather look like, and so many more. Some cannot be answered because the parents may not have the answers due to how the adoption is carried out. Sometimes all that they know is the information that is on the birth certificate.

Being adopted also affects my future, many people may not think of health when it comes to adoption. With many diseases having a parent that has suffered from that said disease will increase your chances of getting/suffering from that disease. Most people do not think of how this can affect a child, but it makes them worried because there’s no way of finding out what they are at a greater risk of getting. I’m always worried that I’m at a high risk of getting some sort of cancer but there is no way that I can find out. It’s not like I can find my birthmothers health records and see what she has.

As a result of not knowing about who they really are adopted kids sometimes suffer from depression and other sociological issues as they’re growing up. Not all adopted kids get depression but may go through a tough time where they want to find answers and the truth of the matter is they cannot get the answers they want and they probably will never get the answers they want.

I’ve been suffering from depression for years now. Sometimes I want to find my birthmother, other times I could care less. I recently found out the adoption agency that I was adopted through so I decided to look it up to find out it was for abandoned children, it hurt. I wish I could get my questions answered but I can’t, I don’t blame my parents it’s the way it happened.

Instead of adoption being adult only the child should be able to have what they deserve, answers. They deserve to know who their birthmother and birthfather are, they don’t need to be close but deserve to have the opportunity to see who brought them into this world. They should also be able to have a way to know what they are at risk of getting when they grow up.