Gender: What's the Difference?

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve heard it all people’s views, thoughts, and stereotypes. I have listened to what people think is “right” or “wrong”, but mainly just let it pass in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t until reading a few stories had my opinions changed forever.

Growing up my parents dressed me in work boots, jeans, and t-shirts. I drove around a toy truck and played with dinosaurs, Legos, and toy cars.  As well as physically dressing me in boy’s clothes my dad would take me fishing ever since I was a baby. He bought me my first quad when I was only 10. Whilst all this was happening, many implicit signs were passed. Just spending time with my dad, watching every move he made, looking up to him as a role model were all signs of unspoken communication. Every Christmas, my grandfather would give me that years Hess Truck. While on the other hand, my sister would always get some type of doll. One time in particular that I can remember caused a big dispute. My grandfather gave my sister a guitar, and I was extremely jealous because I thought that a guitar was a “boys gift”. After reading “Toys start the Gender Equality Rift” I came to the realization that I fell right into that rift. It is quiet clear how growing up playing with certain toys has led me to where I am now. I am currently studying electrical engineering. Just as Bennhold says that toys start the gender rifts; my favorite toys ranging from Lincoln logs to video games, my career choice clearly represents this being true.  Bennhold explains how “It is not hard to see a connection between girls playing with dolls and boys playing with cars . . . Nurses, primary school teachers and caregivers of most kinds are overwhelmingly female. Engineers, computer scientists and mechanics tend to be male” (Bennhold 1). It has become very apparent to me after reading this article, how the mind is sculpted at such an early age by the toys one plays with, r the activities they participate in, which contributes to the type of lifestyle one will lead.

It is clear that as time passes, society is becoming more accepting. The “norm” is becoming broader. This was clearly displayed many years ago, when sexuality was no question. There was no gay marriage; nobody flaunted his or her sexuality in public if it strayed from the standard. Society was strict. A clear divide between a man and a woman, with no questions asked. There was no such thing as intersex, or at least it wasn’t publicized. This is also apparent in terms of my family. My grandfather wears a button down shirt and dress pants and a belt everyday. When he was raised, this was the “norm.” It is very common for him to make comments about what people are wearing, because he isn’t used to the modern styles. He has told me how different things are regarding how people dress in church time, and time again. Every Sunday growing up he would wear a dress coat, dress pants and dress shoes, as did everyone else attending mass. Now, you can wear anything you wish, and be welcome to church. Jan Hoffman believes that “Dress code conflicts often reflect a generational divide, with students coming of age in a culture that is more accepting of ambiguity and difference than that of the adults who make the rules.” (Hoffman 1). It never occurred to me how much dress code has been challenged, until I read, “Can a Boy Wear a Skirt to School”.  I didn’t pay much attention to the dress code growing up, most likely because I’ve never had a problem with it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t hear much of it in general. The only time I would hear of the dress code was when a girl was showing “too much skin” and the school would have her change.

After reading Hoffmans article, my eyes have been opened to an abundance of incidents that I couldn’t even fathom. Hoffman explains an instance where a boy was sent home because his wig violated the schools policy: a boy’s hair can’t be longer than a shirt collar. I was astounded upon reading this. Hoffman also raises questions such as “Can a girl attend her prom in a tuxedo?” (Hoffman 1).  I am now much more aware of the issues that schools are dealing with.  I have never shed much thought to how teachers would address the class in elementary school. After reading Mellissa Temple’s “It’s OK to Be Neither” I realized how often students are segregated by gender. Something as simple as lining up boys and girls, or I used to sit in a “boy girl” pattern. Even after reading just that, I wouldn’t think much of it, until reading about Allie. Allie, a little girl who feels more comfortable in jeans, “boys shirts” and sneakers, gets upset when she is often asked whether she is a boy or a girl.  Knowing there are children who are confronted with gender barriers in school, the phrase “take your seats boys and girls” doesn’t sound right, anymore.  Even outside of school, this gender segregation was present. Just hanging out on “play dates” with multiple friends, or at birthday parties games would be played boys against girls. When I would hang out with a boy friend of mine my mother would always call it a play date. I used to get upset with her, arguing that it’s not a date. Other actions and emotions were also implied, as simple of the meanings of certain words, such as “ play date” which stirred up an argument, at such a young age.

After reading these stories about kids in school, dress codes, and even children’s toys my views have been altered. Growing up, I have never thought about, questioned, or even second-guessed any comment regarding division of boys and girls. Never have I paid much attention to the gifts we buy for children, or how departments are set up in a toy store. All of these minor details that have gone unnoticed for years, suddenly stand out.

I now realize now how easy the mind is shaped and molded. I will not look at any of these issues the same. Simply walking through a toy store and seeing a blue section clearly implies boys, as does the pink for girls, will stand out to me forever. I feel as if these points will forever be highlighted as I encounter them in my life.